Song for no one

You were here
in the midst of all fears
looking past, all my clumsy tears
I was shy, i never thought i was good enough
always thought i was fat and ugly, but really i wasnt , life just got hard , and i found myself depending on myself, which was hard, having your mother push you to your last limits can break you , watching someone else's life hurts too.
all my friends have it easy , but i dont , i feel as though im watching things from the side curb , it hurts me, and she has the nerve to say that im the crazy one , but im not, i have just had to put up with your lies and your bullshit, i just wish sometimes i could be the girl that dances in my mind, but it will probably be a long time till i am .
i hate her, because of all of the things she has done to me, i hate her for never listening to me when i needed her, i was always there, but she never was .

My Safe Haven

I never wanted to be this insecure, most times I just want to be the best i can , love,live and laugh as much as i could, but i feel as though i only hate myself because of my mother,Im going to try and not hate myself like i said i would. Im goign to hopefully get into roehampton and make new friends , buy a new wardrobe and be the fashionista i have always wanted.Finish uni, move out get a job at a clinic and live with my cat , apartment will be bohoemian and pretty and i'll have an exercising thing there, i will live like i have always wanted, then when i get enough courage i will move to vancouver and buy an aprtment that looks like new england, find a man  and have children , live.Thats my safe haven, knowing that someday, i wont have to endure my mother.